heidi

this is my favourite image that i have created so far.
i found a black and white photo of heidi and manipulated it in several ways, using a primitive photo editor.
then i took the same original photo, reversed it, and manipulated it in other ways.
then i overlaid the two images, in photoshop.
i am happy with the results... with the textures, the angles and the contrasting colours.

when hurt leads to anger

some people feel completely justified to seek revenge when they have been hurt.

some people wage wars on this premise.

in the long run, i think this is an unwise and uncivilized way to live. the way i see it, if we live our lives by acting on whims (according to our immediate emotional responses), then we end up in trouble.

as they say, an eye for an eye eventually makes everybody blind.

at some point, somebody just has to step back and walk away.

simple as that.

barrier

This image represents the state of our world right now, from my rather limited perspective.
I created this image by overlaying a Persian design on a blurred image of a woman's face. I used the blurring effect to represent the current lack of focus on the feminine side of humanity. For me, women represent "beauty" and "civilized" life... mothering children... creating homes... creating a sense of "community" and civility. Females are the "yin" compliment to male "yang" forces. And a good society is a balanced one... not a fearful one. Fear is a state of weakness. And the solution to fear is love, not violence. Violence is an act of desperation and sign of a lack of mental resourcefulness. In other words, it is an act of the unintelligent.
I made the Persian design look like a wire fence. I like the strange juxtaposition of using an ancient beautiful design for such an ugly idea... a barrier to keep people out... or to keep people in. But I take some solace in the fact that my "wire fence" is an impossible one. It cannot support itself. And neither can a society that is unbalanced.

I originally created the Persian design as an AutoCAD hatch pattern, many years ago (certainly many years before the current invasion of Iraq). It took some challenging mathematical/programming work, but I only made it as a challenge to myself. So I was glad to be able to use it for something.

g m w

this is a photo of me in a life jacket on caddy lake, taken during a "gentlemen's weekend".

about seven years ago, one of my best friends developed a serious form of cancer. the doctors gave him a 10% chance of surviving. he went through some drastic surgery. but he made it, and is doing fine.
going through this ordeal gave my friend a new perspective on life, and made him realize what is truly important in life... family and friends.
he realized that it is harder for us old buddies to get together now, with wives, girlfriends and children in our lives. so he decided to start a new tradition... the "gentlemen's weekend" or "GMW" for short (named with tongue planted firmly in cheek). it would be a weekend with friends... no girlfriends, wives or children allowed... just us guys. it would be a way to rekindle our old friendships... friendships that now go back more than 25 years. we have grown up together as adults. and we have seen each other through everything imaginable, so we know each other very well.
so every spring and fall since then, we spend a weekend together at a cottage. each of us brings enough food, drink, music and movies for a week, and we just hang out together for three days. it is a weekend of excess. a weekend to be guys.
the first versions of the GMW featured a lot of red meat and a lot of beer... not much else. but over the years, we have refined our tastes a bit. so now we end up with a kitchen countertop full of fine scotches and a fridge full of exotic beers. we have a Saturday supper of barbequed steak and lobster, with salads, baked potatoes, and red wine. someone usually brings a projector and sound system, so we watch movies and listen to the rock music we grew up with. we listen to a lot of music. it is a common thread that binds us.
these are three days when we can let go of our responsibilities at home for a little while, and catch up. it is a celebration of our friendships. and it has become a wonderful tradition that we all value.
long live the GMW!

oodena

this is a doctored photo of me playing at a drum circle at the oodeena circle at the forks, which is located at the forks of the assiniboine and red rivers in the centre of winnipeg.
the forks has been a meeting place for thousands of years. native north americans met there, and it is pretty much guaranteed that they played drums there.
for me, drum circles are a way of tapping into the past... a way to experience the magic of communal drumming, as it has been practiced for thousands of years. if you have ever felt the magic of participating in a good drum circle, then you know what i am talking about. if you haven't, then you should.

vermeer nat 2

this is a picture of my neice.
i manipulated the image until it suddenly looked like a painting by vermeer.

my brother took this photo of me in my parent's livingroom. sheer curtains filtered the sunlight.
i treated his photo, using a crude photo editor.

zen and the art of the drum circle

This is a doctored picture of me (centre) playing in a drum circle at the Oodeena Circle.
I absolutely love playing in a good Drum Circle. It is one of my favourite experiences. Magic can happen when a collection of good hand drummers gather into a circle and play percussion together. When players surrender their egos and create music together, magic usually does happen.
I like the fact that in a drum circle most people play instruments with a limited melodic/harmonic output. I like the freedom that comes in playing a hand drum that has only three or so main sounds. This limitation forces us to place our notes carefully in the overall group rhythm/melody. For the circle to work, we have to work together with the other musicians. We have to really listen carefully, and create a rhythmic melody through the use of the hocket.
Drum circles create music that is synergistic. The whole is much greater than the sum of its parts. And this creates a feeling of community.
It is a special feeling when everyone entrains together. Big smiles break out on faces when everyone gets into the groove. It is a magical kind of joy that really has to be experienced to be understood.
I think it is interesting that we have to let go of our "thinking mind" and just become one with the music. There isn't enough time to think. We just play, and trust our hands.
I prefer playing with drums that are made of "natural" elements like wood, skin and metal. These materials expand and shrink with the weather... which changes the pitches and pitch relationships of the drums. So this kind of drum is never really the same instrument from one day to the next. Each time we play a djembe, we get to know its new sound.
To me, the fact that our instruments change with the weather means that we are forced to listen to THIS particular sound... right here... right now. We adjust our playing to the present circumstance. We can't play well unless we are fully aware in the present moment. It is as much about "letting go" (surrender) as it is about actively playing. And to me, this is about as "Zen" as things get. And this means that the music that we create in drum cirlces is always unique and new. We are composing new music, in real time.
How could someone not be excited by this? Beats me.

I love to improvise when playing music with others. In improvisation, I don't concern myself with remembering patterns, cues or breaks (as I might if I were playing a previously-composed song). I just listen deeply, relax, and play what feels right in this moment. This is a tremendous freedom. Some people feel intimidated by this freedom, and get lost in anxiety about what to play. Not me. I like to let go of my anxiety and live fully in the present moment. It is an opportunity to trust our intuition.. Plus, I'm addicted to the magical feelings that happen.
While playing in various drum circles, I have often felt ecstatic, transcendent feelings, that many people would describe as being "spiritual". Well, to me, all of life is spiritual. I just experience it for what it is and "ride the wave". I enjoy the moment, knowing it will eventually fade... and that it will happen again (differently) in another time and place. This is life. The important thing is this moment... Now.
I especially love to play in big drum circles when we are outdoors around a campfire, under stars and moonshine, away from electric lights and modern civilization. The addition of dancers and fire dancers just heightens the experience further. I live for this kind of experience.

night flower

orange dress dream